Recently I attended to the parent meeting of my elder son, which was held in the kindergarten. Nursery governess invited parents, so she could introduce us with children progress during the year.
– ‘Only to know, you all have wonderful children. This is one of the best and the most obedient group in our kindergarten. Although they are the youngest one, they do all by theirselves – eat, dress, use potty and most of the time they are quiet. Elder kids make much more noise than them.’
Mommies just look at each other, because we’re not sure are we in the right group. Is she talking about my child, who doesn’t want to go outside unless I help him to put his shoes on? If I refuse, he immediately starts crying until I give in. About my kid who still uses diapers, because he doesn’t want to tell me when it’s time for potty. Who mostly refuses to eat by himself, because it’s sweeter to eat sitting in mommy’s lap.
– ‘My son behaves slightly different at home, in fact completely different to be honest.’. Mine too! Mine too!, I could hear from all corners of the room. ‘What should I do to make him more independent?’, I ask Ms. D.
– ‘Well, children behave completely different when parents not around – mainly better,’ said Ms. D. with smile on her face, ‘but don’t worry, there is a solution – just don’t let them cross the limits and stick to that.’
All what I’ve already known. If could be that simple…
I’m returning home encouraged with new information and decide to act immediately.
-‘Children let’s go outside!’. They’re running faster than rocket. One of the rare things I don’t need to repeat twice 😉 I help younger one with shoes, elder son protests – he wants my help too.
– ‘Sorry son, you need to do all by yourself. I was at kindergarten today and Ms. D. strictly forbidden me to help you to get dressed. She said that you do all that without her help in the kindergarten. I expect unpleasant reaction, which will hurt my ears, but nothing. He’s only looked at me and obeyed. I couldn’t believe it works! And he’s done that much faster than me! I even started thinking that he’s maybe still little to get dressed alone ;).
While we’re walking, I think when exactly I started to be so indulgent. I know, when a new baby was born. I didn’t have a time or energy for carry out discipline. Also, I felt guilty, because I couldn’t devote to my elder son as much as before. So, I started pamper him more than is smart.
I make decision to stop with all that before it is too late. Often is very hard for parents not to give up in front of sad children faces, but in that moments we must think ahead – what effects on child’s character will have our indulgence in the future .
Mommy hasn’t got a clue